Yer Bugging' Me!

I started fly fishing when I was a boy of 11 so I can comfortably say I have been paying close attention to bugs most of my life. All kinds of bugs. Stoneflies, caddis flies, may flies and terrestrials. So I know bugs. But the bugs up here at the infamous Kearl Island are a mystery to me! Let me give you an example. The other day I was given the task of taking a welder up to do some work at 120 feet up in the man-lift. It was at the top of the surge bin on a beautiful sunny morning. The air was still cool and drifted by slowly like a meandering river only slightly noticeable as it licked past my face. Heaven! Except my skin felt itchy and I couldn't figure out why. Then it felt more itchy and even a bit crawly! 'oh oh' I thought 'this is one of those flashbacks they promised me when I experimented with LSD in my later teens!'. No such luck! Although I couldn't see them (I mean I REALLY couldn't see them) it was a swarm of tiny flies that we're eating me in a million microscopic bites! Bruno the welder sharing my lift laughed at me. 'you gotta stop eating bananas Bud!' he said with a smile, 'the bugs love potassium'. 'You're kidding' I replied in disbelief 'that's why they're eating me?'. 'Exactly' he said. 'I stopped eating bananas and started eating beans each morning with breakfast. Beans have iron and the bugs don't like it.' Of course I resisted the urge to blame his bug free situation on the cloud of gas the beans also produced but he had a point. We were 3 feet apart and I was the main course in a bug buffet while he was not being bothered at all. Apart from the chemical aspect of our discussion it got me thinking about the various insect-wildlife in the patch. For instance they have these oil beetles that have long candy cane shaped antennae and which fly. You most often notice them when they crawl up your neck and bite you! And what a bite!! Kind of similar to being shot with a BB gun! In all my days I have never seen anything like them. Then there is some kind of stick bug that get up to three inches long. You generally notice them when a co worker throws one at you as a joke. As the are huge it usually gets a classic 'aaaaaaaaaaaeeeeeee!!!' reaction from the person on the receiving end. And true to human nature that person who just received the bug picks it up off the deck and goes looking for some other unsuspecting fool to toss it at themselves. Kind of a construction version of hot potato except using big bloody stick bugs! I think the bugs that surprised me the most are the horse flies. I have seen and hated horse flies all across Canada. I have been bitten by them and have smashed them into goo for as long as I can remember. But here at Kearl they are the biggest I have ever seen. When I saw my first one I thought it was a humming bird! I swatted one the other day and it got up and swatted me back! Fortunately they are also stupid and tend to fly in circles until they land rather slowly right in front of you. So now I carry a big piece of hardened steel with me. It is a strip I cut off of something and it weighs close to 3 lbs. I have found you CAN actually kill the buggers with it but only if you hit them repeatedly! If you don't, of course, they will take it from you and chase you around with it which really is no fun! I can't wait to get home next week. Back to fly fishing and bugs I understand! :)